There is supposed to be some rhythm to these things, I hear – an “at least once a something” schedule that one is on for posting, so that one’s readers need not be disappointed by one’s sloth-like writing habits. And besides, it’s What One Does. Can’t argue with that.
During the past months I’ve wasted hours on Facebook because it’s better than working, or thinking – you could say in fact it’s the opposite of thinking. I’ve tried hard not to taunt stupid people, but sometimes I’ve failed, because shooting fish in a barrel makes a nice noise and all the splashing tickles my nose. And it’s Facebook, fer chrissake. Even smart people look stupid on Facebook.
I’ve quit my job and then never left it, but that has resulted in me getting paid the same thing to work a lot less, so that’s good.
I’ve completed with my kids their applications to college. Never has someone worked so hard to accomplish something she wants so little. But it sent us on a grand trip to Arizona, and in what I’ll modestly admit was a brilliant move, I got to skip the subsequent trip to Florida in August by taking the pricier Arizona option “to be nice about it.” I also took a trip to NYC with the non-Floridian college candidate while Ex and Max were driving the swamps. A nice, brief, Big Apple tour, a couple of visits with friends, an unexpected monsoon, a hotel with a dog theme. Awesome.
I have learned to live without New Ex very well – gone is so much better than with. Toxic dependency is really something I should have noticed earlier in my life. I’ve always been a slow student. While I did dodge that bullet – he’s now needier than ever, but not my problem – I still required a little time to fix my hair and put foundation on the powder burns. All better. Much better.
I have not learned how to live alone without being lonely, and the impending departure of the boys is making the widening divide deep and dark and very cold. Frankly, I don’t want to learn to live alone. I like company. I like my own room, but I like company, which probably explains why I’ve done so much better with kids than men.
And while I have not lost the 5,000 pounds I’d promised myself I’d lose before I needed to travel so much in search of the Next Third, I have been taking Spanish a lot. This should not be confused with learning Spanish a lot – there are apparently holes in the back of my head from which verb conjugations and vocabulary escape nightly. In a recent conversation class discussion of a trial in Boston, I opined that the defense lawyer’s testicle was unreliable – something that, while possibly true, was not quite what I’d had in mind.
Witness: El Testigo
Testicle: El Testículo
Right. Must remember to check flashcards more before entering conversations.
Well, winter’s coming, the traveling is done for now, and it’s time to start writing again, I think. If only to confess some sins and get the hell away from Facebook…